


The opposite of keeping watch

by SnubbingApollo



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Conversations, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 02:45:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14392614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnubbingApollo/pseuds/SnubbingApollo
Summary: Fjord and Caleb never really got a chance to talk about what went down in the Richter's house. Fjord figures they probably should.





	The opposite of keeping watch

**Author's Note:**

> So apparently I write again? It's been like _years_ guys, I don't even know. The new campaign is wrecking me.

Fjord was aware that he overreacted. He knew that he could have _talked_ to Caleb and likely gotten him to put the scroll back, but he’d let his instincts take over. He tried so hard to keep them in check, to not act the way people always expected the second they looked at him and realized his heritage, but they were a part of him and there was only so much he could do to suppress them.

As soon as he’d seen Caleb with the scroll they’d started screaming. The Clan was being betrayed. _He_ was being betrayed. And that it was Caleb was even worse. His more orcish bits had a lot to say about the man. He was the Clan’s most vulnerable member and obviously fragile in more ways than just the physical. Fjord had been dealing with an almost overpowering urge to protect him since Alfield and maybe even a little before. But it was more than that. The man was _attractive_. His voice and the way his fingers moved when he was casting or turning the page of a book, the brief time Fjord had seen him clean after Pumat Sol had magiced his layers of dirt away…

Even when he was covered in filth he was pretty.

It hadn’t just been a member of his Clan turning on him, it was one he’d been viewing, subconsciously, as a potential _mate_. So he’d overreacted. He’d drawn his sword and started threatening him and then Nott when she’d tried to defend him and it’d all gone to shit so fast he’d never actually gotten a chance to _apologize_.

He sighed, looking over at Caleb, taking in the sight of him as he read through one of his books. He’d seemed to move on from it like it hadn’t happened. Like it was nothing to have a friend pull a weapon on him and threaten to abandon him. Fjord wasn’t sure what upset him more in retrospect, that he’d done it at all, or that Caleb seemed to think there was nothing _wrong_ with it.

He sighed and stood from his bedroll walking over to where Caleb was sitting near the fire.

“I hate caves,” he said as he sat down. “Why do we always end up in caves?”

“Because we keep taking jobs that involve caves,” Caleb said without looking up. Fjord gave him a once over trying to figure out if that was a joke. Caleb’s sense of humor was so deadpan it was hard to tell sometimes. Fjord laughed anyway.

“Yeah, that might have something to do with it,” he said, before growing serious. Might as well get right to it. “Hey, I was hoping we could talk if you had a minute. Or later, I don’t want to interrupt your reading.”

Caleb looked up at him, eyeing him with… not suspicion per se, but definitely caution.

“I suppose I can spare a moment. It's been a dull watch so for,” he said, marking his place in his book and closing it. Fjord shifted under his regard clearing his throat.

“It’s about what happened in the Richter's house,” he said and Caleb’s mouth twisted.

“I see,” he said. “Nott told me about the conversation you all had while I was in the basement. I… don’t agree with your concerns but I understand them. You don’t have to worry about me doing anything like that again.” Fjord sighed.

“I appreciate that,” Fjord said, “but that’s not actually what I wanted to say. I wanted to apologize. I shouldn’t have pulled a weapon on you or threatened to leave you behind.” Caleb actually looks _surprised_ which… yeah. This conversation needed to happen.

“I… appreciate the apology,” Caleb said slowly, picking his words with his usual agonizing care. “It all happened very quickly, we both got carried away. But… you didn’t leave me. I was unconscious it would have been easier for you to run without me, but you didn’t.”

Fjord thinks there might be a question in there and it makes his heart ache.

“You’re…” Not clan. Don’t say Clan he won’t understand. “You’re part of this group, Caleb. Nobody’s ever gonna leave you behind. No matter what we say when we’re mad.”

Caleb looked at him with serious eyes, as if examining him for lies before nodding his head.

“It was a fight. Those are bound to happen in a group this size, especially in the early days. No hard feelings,” he said giving Fjord a small hesitant smile and Fjord wanted to hold him until his smiles were _real_ smiles. Big and fearless the way Jester’s were.

“Right,” Fjord said with a nod. A strand of Caleb’s wild red hair had fallen in front of one of his eyes during their conversation and he reached up without thinking, brushing it aside and tucking it behind the man’s ear. Caleb froze and tensed all over for a brief moment before his face went bright red. He’d been expecting to be hurt, Fjord realized. Saw any motion towards himself as a possible attack. The thought made him want to growl and bare his teeth and he firmly reminded himself that that would only scare Caleb more.

He wouldn’t understand.

“Sorry,” Fjord said. “I didn’t mean to overstep-”

“Nein,” Caleb said quickly, slipping into Zemnian in his urgency. “No, it’s alright. I don’t mind.”

Fjord gave him a small smile.

“Want some company on your watch?” he asked.

“You are already keeping me company on my watch,” Caleb pointed out and this time Fjord could see the hint of mirth dancing in his eyes. He chuckled a little.

“Yeah I guess I am,” he said. “I’m not real great at this people thing.”

“I don’t think any of us are,” Caleb said and Fjord laughed again.

“Yeah, probably not,” he said. “I’m not used to keeping close company with anyone. People see me and they make assumptions. It’s easier to just let them than to constantly have to prove I’m something else.”

“Sounds exhausting,” Caleb murmured. “Maybe we should get you a mask like Nott’s.” Fjord scoffed.

“Yeah, I don’t think half a doll face is going to fix it.”

“If it helps, I don’t see you that way,” Caleb said and Fjord gave him a smile.

“It does, yeah,” he said softly. He wondered if that would still be true if Caleb knew the things he thought about him sometimes. How he wanted to growl whenever anyone looked at the wizard for too long. Wanted to cover him in marks so everyone would know Caleb was _his_. _His_ Clan. _His_ mate.

“Fjord?” Caleb asked and Fjord jumped. Fuck, he’d been staring.

“Sorry,” He said, looking away. He could still feel Caleb looking at him and it made him shiver despite the heat of the fire.

“What are you thinking when you look at me like that?” Caleb asked. Fjord swallowed hard, shifting on the ground.

“It’s… nothing bad,” he said. There was the sound of a book closing from beside him and he sighed. “It’s… Orc things. Instincts. Don’t worry about it.” There was a pause before Caleb spoke again.

“What sort of… Orc things?” he asked and Fjord should have known better. Caleb ate up knowledge like it was the only thing that nourished him. His curiosity wouldn’t let him just let this go now.

“Well, you know they... we... Orcs travel in groups right? Clans. I seem to have to have decided this is my Clan,” he said motioning around them to encompass both Caleb and the group as a whole.

“Like… a family?” Caleb asked and his voice had gone soft and almost _awed_. Someday Fjord was going to find all the people who had hurt Caleb and he was going to make them suffer.

“Yeah, a bit,” he said. “Doesn’t have to be blood though.”

“I see…” Caleb said slowly. “So when I tried to take the scroll… I see.” Fjord sighed.

“You’re too damn smart,” he muttered and Caleb chuckled. Actually _laughed_ and Gods Fjord loved that sound. He didn’t do it nearly often enough.

“You gave me all the pieces I just put them together,” the wizard said, demuring like always. He was starting to get why Nott constantly talked about how smart and talented and good Caleb was. The man clearly didn’t believe it himself. “You don’t look at the others like that though.”

Fjord sighed.

“That’s a little more complicated,” he said. “I don’t want you getting the wrong impression. I don’t… just cause my dumb instincts have gotten to thinking something doesn’t mean I’m going to act on it. And just cause I feel a certain way, it don’t mean I expect anything from you.” He looked over and found Caleb staring at him with widened eyes.

“So… not family then,” he said softly. “Me? _Really_?” Fjord couldn’t help the growl this time, it snuck out of his throat before he could think better of it, a low dangerous sound. He saw Caleb shiver and the man tensed but he didn’t pull away, didn’t retreat in fear.

“Sorry,” Fjord said forcibly getting control of himself.

“What did I… did I say something to offend you?” Caleb asked and his voice had gone soft, hesitant.

“Not you,” Fjord said, the growl still hiding in his voice. “Whoever made you think so _little_ of yourself.” Caleb went very still next to him and was silent for a long moment.

“There are things you don’t know about me,” he said eventually. “Things even Nott does not know. Things I have done.”

“We’ve all done things, Caleb,” Fjord said. “There’s no one here who’s not running from _something_. Doesn’t change the way I see you.”

Caleb shook his head a very sad smile on his face and Fjord reached out, resting a hand on his arm.

“Hey, I’ve seen enough of you to know what you’re like now,” he said. “It’s like Molly said. The past doesn’t matter. All that matters is who we are here and now.”

Caleb looked at him for a moment, his eyes sharp and searching again. Fjord met his gaze without hesitation letting Caleb see the honesty in his expression. He expected the man to look away again, to demure like he had before. Instead, Caleb surged forward pressing his lips to Fjord’s.

Fjord made a soft surprised noise, sitting frozen for entirely too long. When his brain caught up with what was happening he leaned into the contact, raising his hand to rest on Caleb’s cheek. The other man’s lips were as soft as he’d always imagined, warm and sweet and unpracticed. The idea that he might be the first person Caleb had ever kissed made the hot possessive feeling rise in his chest again and he had to fight down another growl.

Eventually they parted, but Caleb didn’t pull very far back and Fjord took advantage of his closeness to rest their foreheads together.

“If you change your mind later,” Caleb said, voice soft and breathless “that’s alright. I won’t blame you.” The growl won out and Fjord pressed closer, claiming his lips again. Caleb shivered against him and one of the wizard’s hands found his shoulder and took a handful of his shirt.

“None of that,” Fjord murmured. The hand he had rested on Caleb’s cheek shifted to stroke through his hair gently and Caleb winced.

“My hair is filthy,” he said and Fjord breathed a laugh.

“It’s part of your charm,” he said, leaning in to give Caleb another quick kiss. Caleb laughed into it and Fjord didn't think he'd ever heard a more beauiful sound. “You’re sure this is okay?”

“Ja. I don’t know what your growly bits see in me, but I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth,” Caleb said with a small chuckle.

“Not just the growly bits,” Fjord said. “They’re just louder about it.”

The stayed like that for the rest of Caleb’s watch, huddled close in front of the fire, occasionally sharing soft kisses and talking in hushed voices. Had they been anywhere but a cold dank cave things may have progressed but it was hardly the time or the place despite what Fjord’s hindbrain might have to say about it. Caleb deserved better than that. He deserved a bed and warmth. Time and privacy.

“Beau will be coming to relieve me soon,” Caleb breathed eventually and Fjord sighed.

“Yeah,” he said. “It’s awful cold in here. If you wanted to move your bedroll a little closer to mine, I doubt anyone would think anything of it.”

Caleb hummed.

“I may do that,” he murmured. Fjord smiled, giving him one last kiss before forcing himself to stand.

“Night, Caleb.”

“Goodnight Fjord.”


End file.
